Chewing Gum

I hate Chewing gum. I used to love it. But now I don't. Today I really found how much I despise it. Jeremy accidentally bought Bubble Gum Easter Eggs thinking they were whopper eggs but he's chewing away... *Smack smack smack* Jeremy, you're my brother, I love you, but I'm gonna kill you.... :)

Chewing Gum is really gross,

Chewing Gum I hate the most.

- Willy Wonka

'Oh... Hey Fella's... Did you see this mornings Martha Stewart.... Heh... heh.... RUN!!!!'

Armed robbers picked the wrong target when they raided an Australian bar where a biker gang was holding a meeting.
Machete wielding masked bandits burst into the Regents Park Sporting Club in Sydney and ordered people at the bar to lie on the floor.
But the robbers failed to notice 50 members of the Southern Cross Cruiser Club enjoying a drink in the next room, reports the Sydney Morning Herald.
"Fifty of us jumped out of our seats and raced out to the main bar," said club president Jerry 'Jester' van Cornewal.
Biker club founder Noel 'Bear' Mannix added the robbers appeared to be regretting the heist as soon as they saw the bikers.
"It was very hard to see the expression on their faces because of the balaclavas, but I imagine it was something along lines of 'Oh s***, what have we done here?' ," he said.
One of the robbers charged through a locked glass door, leapt off a 16ft balcony and ran through a bowling green to escape.
The other ran through an exit behind the bar but members of the gang ran around the back and caught up with him.
"He came out the door wielding what I thought was a tyre lever, but was actually a samurai sword. I raced in and tackled him to the ground, footy-style, onto the concrete," Mr van Cornewal said.
They tied up the man and waited for police to arrive. Police soon also located the second robber nearby. A 20-year-old man and a 16-year-old were charged with attempted robbery.

Dry Skin With A Hint of Sarcasm

My skin gets so dry, it begins to bleed,

It kind of feels like sand paper, oh yes, indeed.

People tell me, "Lotion is the key,"

Well I must be dumb, oh golly- gee.

Lotion is the obvious answer, if it didn't burn,

If my skin falls off- well that would cause concern.

I've been to a doctor but doctors these days,

Gave bad advice and expect us to pay.

So I've bought lotion in a green bottle with a pump,

This lotion's good, smooth with no lumps.

So that's a good sign this lotion is right,

But it makes one cold in the cold autumn night.

I'll keep using Medicated Extra Strength Gold Bond,

I shall use it until every drop of it is gone.

It's slightly more expensive than Jergins or Curel,

I shall make it a shrine with candles and a mural.

Triple Action Relief for extra dry and itchy skin,

Is meant to moisturize, sooth and protect deep within.

Do not use on serious burns or animal bites,
While using this product, avoid contact with eyes.

Thus ends a poem, written by my self. I wrote it on November 17, 2002... I was but forteen years old.