YES! She turned my radio on, pushed me and broke the kitchen light! All because I said she didn't exist and Jeremy said Ghost Hunters was a crock... Jeesh...
That's what you get, Bon. Now you and Jeremy got 'em all Agitated and stuff.
Here's what I did that time in Styx, Ohio, in October of 1999. Man, the nightmares I still get from that horrible week. I'll never forget.
Anyways...
First of all, you're gonna hafta lure the ghosts in, altogether, to get rid of them. I know there's more smokes there than Old Lady Jackson, 'cause Old Lady Jackson just likes messing with the radio and making noises.
Now, the smaller, wispier ghosts like her, that are nothing more that psychic imprint ghost-shells are easy to attract. Just toss out some sticky hard candy and chocolate; something fragrant. They love that stuff. A handful of coins thrown in with them will work dandy as well, but be sure that none of the dates on the coins match. That's what keeps them around.
Now, with the more solid, substantial smokes, like the ones that pushed you and broke the light, you'll need something stronger. Traditionally, booze ( something high-proofed)and 98.6 degree human blood (fragrant iron liquid) was used by the ancients, but today you can replace the booze with Red Bull, and the blood with a broth made of pigs blood mixed with a lot of curry powder and dried, crushed habanero, and heated to near boiling. Not as good, but it'll do the job.
Finally, you're going to have to do a little heavy work. Take a cast Iron skillet, and with a Dremel tool, inscribe a series of palindromes on the inside walls of the pan. The more intricate, the better.
I've always liked to use these 'dromes-- Sit on a potato pan, Otis, and-- Live not on evil, madam, live not on evil.
L.A. cigar, too tragical-- is a great one too, but works best in California, for some reason. Something about angry Daimons of Hollywood, decay, entropy, and corruption.
Next, take the candy, liquids, coins, and pan to the stove, and arrange everything around the skillet. Pool the Red Bull and broth in multiple ceramic ramekins around the skillet. Grab a fire extiguisher, too.
Finally (and this is important, Bon), fill the pan a quarter-inch high with a high-proof, flammable alchohol, like JB rum, for example (don't worry, you're legal), and wait an hour.
Then, grab a BBQ lighter, one of the long ones, and light the rum, taking care to avoid the flames.
Doing this, the ghosts should have been lured to the pan thanks to the candy and stuff, the coins will occupy them and the palindromes with confuse them (how can they be the same front and back?) and the cleansing fire should burn them up.
Don't worry. You're doing them a favor. The little ghostings aren't really people, just snapshots in time of a person's emotions and personality.
And the bigger smokes are better off not getting too strong. Those are shades that always get more aggressive as time goes by, and can turn into something worse; always worse. Pie-Face and The Juggernaut are bad enough, but nobody needs another Babalu Aye and The Single Mother with a Knife, and the Eye-Biting Man just makes me want to hide under the covers at the thought.
7 comments:
What recent ghostly events? Has Old Lady Jackson been stirred up lately?
YES! She turned my radio on, pushed me and broke the kitchen light!
All because I said she didn't exist and Jeremy said Ghost Hunters was a crock... Jeesh...
That's what you get, Bon. Now you and Jeremy got 'em all Agitated and stuff.
Here's what I did that time in Styx, Ohio, in October of 1999. Man, the nightmares I still get from that horrible week. I'll never forget.
Anyways...
First of all, you're gonna hafta lure the ghosts in, altogether, to get rid of them. I know there's more smokes there than Old Lady Jackson, 'cause Old Lady Jackson just likes messing with the radio and making noises.
Now, the smaller, wispier ghosts like her, that are nothing more that psychic imprint ghost-shells are easy to attract. Just toss out some sticky hard candy and chocolate; something fragrant. They love that stuff. A handful of coins thrown in with them will work dandy as well, but be sure that none of the dates on the coins match. That's what keeps them around.
Now, with the more solid, substantial smokes, like the ones that pushed you and broke the light, you'll need something stronger. Traditionally, booze ( something high-proofed)and 98.6 degree human blood (fragrant iron liquid) was used by the ancients, but today you can replace the booze with Red Bull, and the blood with a broth made of pigs blood mixed with a lot of curry powder and dried, crushed habanero, and heated to near boiling. Not as good, but it'll do the job.
Finally, you're going to have to do a little heavy work. Take a cast Iron skillet, and with a Dremel tool, inscribe a series of palindromes on the inside walls of the pan. The more intricate, the better.
I've always liked to use these 'dromes-- Sit on a potato pan, Otis, and-- Live not on evil, madam, live not on evil.
L.A. cigar, too tragical-- is a great one too, but works best in California, for some reason. Something about angry Daimons of Hollywood, decay, entropy, and corruption.
Next, take the candy, liquids, coins, and pan to the stove, and arrange everything around the skillet. Pool the Red Bull and broth in multiple ceramic ramekins around the skillet. Grab a fire extiguisher, too.
Finally (and this is important, Bon), fill the pan a quarter-inch high with a high-proof, flammable alchohol, like JB rum, for example (don't worry, you're legal), and wait an hour.
Then, grab a BBQ lighter, one of the long ones, and light the rum, taking care to avoid the flames.
Doing this, the ghosts should have been lured to the pan thanks to the candy and stuff, the coins will occupy them and the palindromes with confuse them (how can they be the same front and back?) and the cleansing fire should burn them up.
Don't worry. You're doing them a favor. The little ghostings aren't really people, just snapshots in time of a person's emotions and personality.
And the bigger smokes are better off not getting too strong. Those are shades that always get more aggressive as time goes by, and can turn into something worse; always worse. Pie-Face and The Juggernaut are bad enough, but nobody needs another Babalu Aye and The Single Mother with a Knife, and the Eye-Biting Man just makes me want to hide under the covers at the thought.
Know what I mean?
You gotta stop 'em now. While you can.
That was very... informative. Where did you gather such info?
That's old school, by way of one Angelica Elizalde, and she knows whereof she speaks.
You won't see anything like that on Ghost Hunters.
LOL!!!
I bet not... lol...
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